Whilst my main passion is supporting women in releasing you from your disordered relationship with food, one of the main things I work on with clients is changing how you think about yourself. Unfortunately, when this comes up in a coaching call, this is where I find the majority of the resistance.
I know it can be hard but if you’re really serious about changing one aspect of your life, then you have to be open to changing more than that. A mentor of mine used to talk about selling chocolate and giving broccoli on the side and it seems a little bit like that here; you want a change in your relationship with food but first you have to change your relationship with yourself which isn’t what you thought you wanted to do.
It can be scary at first, making changes. Whilst giving up dieting and creating regular ‘me time’ doesn’t seem like the scariest thing in the world, what’s frightening is who you have to be and the conversations you have to have in order to make those changes.
When you have to stand up and set boundaries where there haven’t been any before, then it can seem daunting. Asking loved ones to respect new boundaries can be tricky when they don’t understand why you’re changing.
I know from past experience in life and business that other people are fearful and can be obstinate about any and all types of change. When you change, you threaten the people around you. By being open to change, you let them know that they too could change if they wanted to, but if they are not open to it, it creates fear and resentment towards you.
And so it’s easier to stay the same. Being the same, even when it keeps you bound, hurting, eating the things you don’t want to eat because your life doesn’t look the way you want it to look. In fact, rather than have those conversations, create the new opportunities, reach new potential, you stay in that place that looks safe, with the same people around you.
This isn’t about abandoning your family, it’s about recognising that your happiness is just as important as theirs and that, handled well, those conversations can take your loved ones with you, rather than create gulfs between you. In fact, as you change your internal relationships for the better, you can create better external relationships too.
So, being open to changing things, small step by small step, is what, ultimately will create the lasting results that you’re hoping for. But you won’t see any differences if you’re not open to change.